Drunken Ballad to a Lost Love

I'm trying to resist these drunken temptations to admit how much
I miss the drunken sensations you caused.
I pause while an eternal battle forges on between the bold & senseless.
Both relentless in their quest to prove my sober mind to be total farce;
and my heart caught in the middle with only the twiddle of thumbs to keep it occupied
Should I lie & say this is an easy goodbye?
I try to conjure sober consciousness while wrapped in an inebriated state.
Is it too late to stop my subconscious from embarking on a mistake the authority of my sober mind condemns?
It won't end until rebellion leads me into satisfactory destruction.
Will it be then that I will function or is the damage to far gone?
Am I wrong to hope you will change?
See the errors of your ways & live with me in storybook bliss.
I will miss the fantasies I've created with you as my Prince Charming.
Happily ever after without care & only laughter isn't destined for us.
The impression you've left was only a suggestion not a rule.
You were cruel & tortured my heart under the heated glass of school boy idleness.
I am not upset just unsettled that you weren't worth the trophy case I put you in.
As we begin to search for separate things on separate paths,
I wonder if we would be happy in another world.
One without the shallow or the mundane,
just endless love shared equally between our frames.
It is there I will wait for you, all cliques ready in hand.
And love will pour from our hearts and pool where we stand.