Save Your Two Cents

Save your two cents,
you need them more than I do.
Seeing that you’re on the verge
of moral bankruptcy,
I feel it would be unethical for me to take them.

A wise man once said,
“Never take advice from someone
who’s more screwed up than you are.”
Hence I respectfully decline your generous
line of credit towards unsolicited advice.

Insider trading forbids its, but I must relay information
passed on to me by one who specializes in these transactions.
Your two cents would be best put to use,
invested in a mutual fund with those
prone to similar judgmental tendencies.

I understand that the group think mentality,
doesn’t appeal to all; so,
you could also consider putting your two cents in a CD.
Hopefully, the fixed interest
will yield you some maturity.

I appreciate your interest,
but your two cents are no good here.
Try obtaining a substantial amount of collateral,
as a means of backing up your two cents.
That will be the only way I’ll consider accepting them.